Self love. Self development and Self improvement are three concepts that I truly believe in. The realization of understanding how important is to keep yourself happy and healthy and putting your wellness before others has transformed the way I look and life and has certainly changed the way I live it.
Yes, it is important to keep other people happy and be generous, but not if that means losing yourself in the process. I'm sure you may have read the quote " You come alone, you go alone." I think it is important for people to acknowledge that how we feel about ourselves is the kind of energy / vibe we give out on the people around us, and that's why we tend to be attracted or more happy around people who are happy and love themselves.
Loving yourself doesn't mean that you are being selfish, it just means that you are putting your needs above others, and that's okay. It is not always necessary for you to think about what other people will think or say or think about you. No matter what you do in your life whether it's good or bad people will always be around to watch you and express their opinions, the best way to deal with that is to let all the positive messages motivate you to make the best version of yourself and all the negative opinions and hate are to be overseen because not everyone will appreciate what you do and if they don't value you for who you are then their opinion shouldn't be worth your time and energy in the first place, yes sometimes it matters, but if what you are doing keeps you happy, then other peoples words / thoughts shouldn't bother you.
There used to be a time where everyone's opinions used to affect me and I would think a million times before I did something especially when I was in public or on my social media, there were so many occasions on which I didn't do what I felt like doing just because I knew that I'd be judged by everyone else if I did, and to be honest I really wish I could go back in time and do all the things I stopped myself from doing, because who cares! If you think about it practically the people around you now (if you are a teenager) aren't going to be there with you 10 years from now, maybe a few best friends you make up along the way, but as a best friend i'm sure they respect your choices, so what does it matter about what other people say. I personally wish that I spent all the time that I put into some of my friendships and relationships into self development instead because now I realize that I've wasted so much time on people who are no longer in my life and those friendships / relationships have brought upon so much pain to me and that have genuinely affected me where as if I had invested that time for myself, I would be closer to being the best possible version of myself. I don't regret meeting those people in my life because they taught me a lot about growing as a person mentally and physically, but what I do regret is that I put most of my time into keeping them happy, like regular texts or calls, daily conversation, meeting up every weekend and neglecting other people in my life for them. It's really a matter of your priorities, and your very first priority should be YOURSELF.
How did I personally start my self love journey.
Know your worth- don't let people around you define you. They don't know you the way you know yourself, people will always talk about you from their experience with you, so don't let their opinions make you who you are.
Invest in yourself- Spend at least 15-30 minutes doing something that makes you happy and uplifts you, that helps you understand yourself and something you can do while recollecting all your thoughts and emotions and just relax your time. In my case this would be drawing while listening to music or drawing sitting outside (only when it was cloudy though)
Find the truth and exception when an inner critic or outer critic attacks. Your own inner critic may not always say nice things about you. People around you may attack you or try to bring you down to serve one of their own needs.If you or someone else does this, ask yourself this question:What is the exception to this though?This is very effective to change your train of thoughts, to find the truth and to not get down on yourself.For example, if you or someone says that you are not doing a good job in school then you can ask the question and find answers that tell you that isn’t really true. If you question the attack and look for the exception you may for instance see that you are actually doing a good job in most of your courses, but may be a bit unfocused and lazy in math and geography.That is a more nuanced truth that helps you rather than just brings you down.
Unstress- Spend some time doing something that relaxes your body and mind, for some people this would be to do intensive workouts to clear their mind and for some people this would be to read or walk. I personally like to talk to someone about whats on my mind or take a long bath / shower.
Take 2 minutes during the day to appreciate yourself- what I did for this is just sit down clear my mind and think about 3 reasons I appreciate myself for, this could be something as simple as "I appreciate myself for following my study schedule without messing up". It's all the small things like this that contribute towards a big change in the way you feel, as stupid as this may sound, it works.
Be kind towards others- The way you think about and treat others is often the way you think about and treat yourself. So choose to be kinder towards others to, over time, become more kind and more understanding towards yourself too.
Take a laugh break- Now this may sound silly, but it makes a big difference in your moods, just take a few minutes in your day to open up a funny clip or read a funny joke because this just takes off some of your stress and lightens your mood, I do this during my study breaks so that when I go back to studying I start again in a happy mood.
Remember that its never too late- Don’t get stuck in thought loops that just go round and round about what you could have done or what went wrong. Think about what you really want in the rest of your life instead. Better health? A great relationship?New challenges in your career? Now, what are a few small steps you can take towards that goal? Take one of those steps today. Then another tomorrow.
Remind yourself about why it is important to be kind to yourself- By knowing the reasons why it is smart to be kinder to yourself it, in my experience, becomes easier and easier to be kind to yourself and to take the time for it every day. By reminding yourself of benefits such as better real life results, more perseverance, higher self esteem , more inner happiness and stillness, more positive relationships with yourself and with other people it becomes easier to stay kind to yourself through life’s natural ups and downs.
That brings me to the end of this blog, remember "Until you value yourself, you won't value your time." Well, I hope this was helpful and motivational, I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about such content, Would you like to see more of this kind of stuff on my page? Feel free to talk to me on any of my social media platforms listed on my website.
Stay tuned till next time.
Asmita xx
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